OC Chronicles

“It’s impossible that she doesn’t know anything about her disappearance. The girl didn’t leave her room that day-“

The conversation abruptly stopped nang makita siyang paparating pero huli na. Clover already heard it and like what she always does, balewala lang niyang dinaanan ang mga ito.

For the past months, she got used to the awkward silence, the secret glances and the soft whispers. She knows that eventhough she already proved herself to be innocent, in everyone’s eyes, she’s hiding something.

Her mother asked her to leave the boarding school pero hindi siya pumayag. Para na rin niyang sinabi na guilty siya. Gustuhin niya mang magpakalayo ay ayaw niya ring tumakas.

Hindi siya aalis nang hindi nalilinis ang pangalan niya.

She will find out the truth behind Kathleen’s disappearance.

Palabas na siya ng school building nang makasalubong ang paparating na grupo ng mga estudyante. She wanted to hide at umiba ng daan pero huli na.

They already saw her.

Again, there was an awkward silence but this time, it was different. She knew the people were secretly staring at her not because of suspicion. They wanted to see her reaction.

Nakasalubong lang naman niya si Reid, her on again, off again ex-boyfriend, with his friends and his new girl.

“Hi, Clo,” narinig niyang bati ni Yoshino, his ex’s best friend. “Long time no see.”

“Hi,” tipid siyang ngumiti at kumaway kay Yoshino, ignoring the rest of the group bago nagpatuloy sa paglalakad.

“See you around,” narinig niyang pahabol ng lalaki na sinundan ng panunudyo ng mga kasama ni Reid pero pinilit niyang huwag lumingon. Baka isipin ni Reid ay may pakialam pa siya rito.

They’re over for good.

Or are they?

Nasa loob na ng kwarto si Clover pero hindi pa rin mawala sa isip niya ang nakita kanina. Reid seems happy.

“Well, of course he is. He’s always happy when he’s around girls,” sigaw ng isip niya.

After she broke up with him two months ago, hindi na ito nagparamdam. Nalaman na lang niya na may bago na itong idinadate.

Hindi na siya nagtangkang makipagbalikan dito dahil bukod sa nagising na siya sa katotohanan na kahit kailan ay hindi siya sineryoso nito, mas may malaki siyang problema na kailangang pagtuunan ng pansin.

She glanced at the empty bed on the other side of the room. It’s been a year but her life has never been the same.

Kasabay ng pagkawala ni Kathleen ay nawalan din siya ng mga kaibigan.

Iniwasan siya ng lahat.

There was only one person who never abandoned her and it was Reid.

Hindi niya alam kung naniniwala ito na inosente siya pero kahit kailan ay hindi ito nagtanong. He acted as if nothing happened and he made sure that everyone would behave the same.

He wasn’t exactly the perfect boyfriend dahil bukod sa pagiging friendly nito sa mga babae nito ay madalas nitong balewalain ang nararamdaman niya at sinasabing masyado lang siyang selosa.

But he was there for her.

It took a while for her to realize that she was being gaslighted and she was waiting hopelessly for him to change.

So, she decided to end their relationship.

She could still remember what happened that night. It was halloween and they were out partying in the infamous open theater malapit sa school. They were playing a game and Reid was a little tipsy. He was dared to kiss a girl which he obliged.

He did not run after her when she walked out.

Well, she heard him yelling for her to come back. But he was giggling for christ sake! Sino ba namang matutuwa? So, she ignored him and left. But before that, she heard him shout, “Bahala ka!”

Bago pa siya makarating sa boarding house, she already came up with a decision.

Unlike their previous fights, Clover didn’t shed a single tear. Pagod na siya sa pagtitiis sa kalokohan ni Reid. Three  years is enough. She’s too young para itali ang sarili sa taong hindi siya pinapahalagahan.

Malalim na napabuntong-hininga si Clover nang muling makita ang pangalan ng “ex” boyfriend sa screen. Walang gana niyang binuksan ang chat ni Reid.

Reid: Still awake?

Clover: What do you want?

Reid: Come on, Clo. We were just having fun.

Clover: Then have fun.

Reid: I’m coming over. Huwag ka munang matulog.

Clover: Let’s break up.

Reid: Not again. O.o  Iyan ka na naman e.

Clover: We’re over. For good.

Reid: Yeah, right. Bahala ka.

Clover: Okay

Reid: Just go to sleep. Let’s talk tomorrow.

Kahit papaano ay nakaramdam ng lungkot si Clover. They had some good times. Marami lang talagang umaaligid na babae rito and she knows, they’re still young para magseryoso. Kaya she will give him the freedom to enjoy his youth.

Clover: I’m serious, Reid. Tapos na tayo.

Matagal bago sumagot si Reid. Maybe, he was overjoyed kaya hindi nakasagot agad.

Reid: You’re throwing three years dahil lang nag-seselos ka? If you only know how to have fun, hindi ka maaout of place kapag kabonding natin ang barkada ko. You never liked them. You never made an effort para mapalapit sa kanila. You’d rather stay in your room and watch your worthless kdrama and fangirl over some stupid boys who do not even know you exist!

Muntik niya nang maibato ang cellphone sa inis. Harap-harapan itong nakikipag-flirt sa babaeng kasama, paanong hindi siya magseselos? At kinampihan pa talaga ang barkada nito na kulang na lang ay kaladkarin siya palayo kay Reid.

And worse, idinamay pa ang pagiging kdrama at kpop fan niya.

It’s enough. Ayaw niya nang pahabain pa ang usapan. This guy isn’t worth throwing her life for.

Clover: I wanna be myself

Reid: Clo, I’m not asking you to change. I like you as you are. But my friends are important to me too.

Clover: I don’t care

Reid: You’re being unreasonable.

Clover: I gotta be myself

Reid: Fine. I will not force you to hang out with them. Okay na?

Clover: I needed to find me

Reid: What? Ano ba talagang problema mo?

Clover: Now, I know

Reid: Know what?

Clover: The key was inside me all along.

Reid: Wtf?

Clover: I’m listening to my heart, let it guide me. I feel the light, I feel the light.

Reid: Damn you!

Tawa nang tawa si Clover nang makitang nag-log out na si Reid pagkatapos marealize na galing sa lyrics ng paborito niyang kpop song ang mga sinabi niya. Since hindi rin naman siya sineseryoso nito, maglokohan na lang sila.

And that was the end of her relationship with the campus hearthrob. She was sad for like, a week, but now, she’s enjoying her freedom. Lately niya na lang narealize na kaya siguro siya nagtiis ay dahil naging security blanket niya si Reid all those times.

Saglit siyang naupo sa kama ni Kathleen.

They’ve never been close at alam niyang hindi siya gusto nito. From the beginning, she made it clear na hindi sila magiging magkaibigan. Kathleen is one of the “it” girls in the campus kahit pa innocent and pure ang image nito. She’s smart and pretty and she had a lot of friends.
Her friends ignored her too kahit pa madalas makitulog ang mga ito sa kwarto nila dati. She was sure Kathleen had painted an ugly image of her sa mga kaibigan kaya siguro ganoon na lang siya paghinalaan ng mga ito.

But she never did anything to her. She wished that one day, Kathleen will appear and she will be vindicated and prove everyone wrong.

It’s friday night kaya naman nasa kanya ang cellphone. Kinukuha kasi ito ng  Dorm mistress nila tuwing weekdays at ibinabalik lang tuwing weekends at holidays.

Naisipan niyang tawagan ang mommy niya nang biglang may nag-chat.

Hey, can I have my scientific calculator back? I need it for my Physics class.

She felt her heart race nang makita ang pangalan ni Reid sa screen.Of course, she still has feelings for him. Hindi naman agad iyon mawawala.

Pero tapos na ang pagiging tanga niya. If ever, magkabalikan man sila, hinding-hindi siya ang manunuyo rito katulad ng ginagawa niya dati.

She took a deep breath bago mag-reply.

Clover: Hahanapin ko muna

Reid: And my blue sweatshirt

Naalala niyang pinahiram iyon ng lalaki nung minsan tumambay sila sa park at gininaw siya. It was almost a year ago.

Clover: Hahanapin ko rin.

Reid: Also my T-square and Badminton racket. I’m joining the badminton team.

Clover: Okay

Reid: And my Pikachu shirt

Hindi niya napigilang matawa nang maalala ang paboritong t-shirt nito na sapilitan niyang hiniram. She can’t wait to see his reaction kapag nalaman ang nangyari sa t-shirt.

Clover: Kumupas. Naibabad ko sa clorox.

Reid: R u serious?

Clover: Just buy a new one. Ako rin naman nagbigay nito.

Reid: Exactly. You GAVE it. Ibig sabhin, akin na yan. Why would you even attempt to wash it e hindi ka naman marunong maglaba?

“Akala mo siya marunong,” ungos ni Clover sa isip.

Reid: Palitan mo yan.

Clover: Dyan ka sa bago mo manghingi.

Gustong pagsisihan ni Clover ang sinabi. Baka isipin nito nagseselos siya.

Matagal bago sumagot si Reid.

Reid: Kahit kupas, give it back. I also need my black travelling bag, the one you borrowed for your camping and my red pajama.

Napatingin si Clover sa suot na pajama. Bakit nga ba nakalimutan niya na hiniram niya rin ito kay Reid.

Clover: Nasa labahan pa yung pajama. Lalaban ko muna.

Reid: Huwag na! Baka kumupas pa.

Clover: Okay. Lista mo lahat ng gamit mo. Hahanapin ko bukas.

Reid: Scientific calculator, t-square, blue sweatshirt, Badminton racket, pikachu shirt, black travelling bag, red pajama, Lab gown, swimming goggles,song hits.

Clover: Bibigay ko na lang kay Yoshino kapag nahanap ko.

Reid: Bakit kay Yoshino pa? Just give them to me. I’ll meet you somewhere.

Natigilan si Clover. She doesn’t want to see him. Not after all the effort she made to avoid contacting him.

Clover: I’m quite busy.

Reid: Give them to me. I will wait for you at The Knife Edge Social Club.

Clover: Can I just give it to Yoshino? I don’t want to see you.

Hindi na muling sumagot si Reid. Making Clover a bit suspicious. Ano ba talagang balak nito?

And why there of all places?

The Knife Edge Social Club is a private lounge exclusively for the club members at kaya lang siya nakapasok doon ay dahil member si Reid at minsan ay isinama siya ng pinsan who was also invited by another member.

At doon sila unang nagkakilala ni Reid.

Her mind came back to the present nang makitang may nag-message sa kanya.

But it wasn’t Reid.

Clo, I need to talk to you. It’s important Meet me at 7:00 PM at Annie’s Restaurant.
Ps. Alone

-Aly